


That I Killed, Killed You In and Now I Know I'm Alone

by lorrcan



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Drowning, Gore, psychotic!tyler, s pretty violent fyi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:03:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8604613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorrcan/pseuds/lorrcan
Summary: "c'mon, tell daddy what'cha want. use your sentences, angel, that's how i know y'ok."





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelblur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelblur/gifts).



"c'mon, stop strugglin'," says blurry and tyler immediately stills at the order. he cradles his broken wrist closer to his chest, willing the tears the retreat back where they could never be seen, but one seeps out and down his cheek to where a black stained thumb catches it carefully. it's a stark contrast to the treatment he has received all night and he leans into it out of instinct, out of a want and a need for a soft touch, only to be backhanded. his head snaps to the right. he cries out. and blurry stands up to leave him collared and chained to the far left wall of the barren room.

he leaves with tyler screaming after him, shrieking and trying to claw off the collar with his good hand. tyler yanks at the chain bolted into the wall; he thrashes and turns and withers, but the bolt laughs at his pathetic form. it calls him words he never thought were real, never wanted to hear, and he's suddenly crying and bashing his palms into his eye sockets because _good boys don't cry, good boys don't act like girls, they're strong and brave and_ \--

"angel?" comes blurry's gravelly voice, a hand tilting tyler's chin up to see his watery face.

"ye-yellow, daddy, ple-please," he hiccups and blurry's dark eyes become oceans of pink and peaches, his calloused and monstrous hands morphing into clouds.

"daddy's here, baby, he's here , jus' take a breather."

tyler's scooped up comfortably in blurry's strong arms, nibbling at the fabric of his sweatshirt hood as his mind numbs with the warmth of his other half. blurry hums along with him in patterns of two three second bursts, one two second burst, and ending in one four second burst. it goes on for a little bit just until tyler is able to settle back into a more comfortable and calm headspace, pliable and malleable at blurry's fingertips.

"continue?" blurry asks, combing hair out of tyler's haze filled eyes.

tyler hums and nuzzles his nose deeper into blurry's musk made up of sand castles and candle wicks, but he's pulled away sharply by the collar tight around his esophagus.

"c'mon, tell daddy what'cha want. use your sentences, angel, that's how i know y'ok."

his fingertips are buzzing softly as he musters up words between his two reddened ears. "n-need... m'head is all-all we-weird, sir. s'm-movin' too f-fast, sir. sir? s'all... c-curling."

he nods along with admiration in his eyes and tyler wants to drown in it, just maybe to get his head to shut off, for the bolt to be nice, for his body to register his wrist is snapped in half. "mm, i und'stand, baby. m'gonna run a bath f'you. will that help?"

"ye-yes, sir."

blurry kisses his lips, only to reassure tyler of his safety, of his home and his heart and his clouds.  it's a simple gesture to many couples, because a kiss is a kiss, a sign of love, but tyler's lips are chapped and graying and he doesn't like too many of them.  he's afraid of them falling off and running away and never being able to say i love you to blurry anymore.  blurry gets it.  he understands.  he knows best.  

tyler never hears the water start running, but he hears it stop and blurry walk back onto the ink stained floors, boots tracking the navy blue and gold from tyler's split open skull.  he releases tyler from the bolt and leash and nudges him with his foot.  tyler crawls his way to the bathroom like a pathetic animal, cowering under blurry's shadow, but he knows that's his place.  he will always love to be under blurry, whether he wants that be to physical or metaphorical.  blurry takes his belt from the waistband of his jeans and loops it tightly around tyler's elbows so his arms are cinched behind his back.  in turn, he loosely grips his broken wrist with his good hand to make the position less rough on his shoulders.  

"okay, whore, y'know how this works," bites blurry and grips both tyler's hair and collar.  

"yes, sir." 

"tell me." 

he watches the small child-like hands reach out from the water and graze his cheeks, grasp the ends of his hair.  he wants to join them as soon as possible, but blurry yanks him back and slaps his right cheek.  it would send him to the floor if it weren't for the iron grip around the collar.   

"i told you t' tell me something."

"m'sorry, sir," he whispers.  "please forgive me." 

"mhm, course, angel.  tell me what m'gonna be doin' f'ya, okay?" 

tyler's eyes flutter.  "daddy's gonna help his whore." 

"how?" 

"he's gonna drown his whore." 

blurry nods his head.  "'nd what's daddy's whore gonna do f'his daddy?" 

"daddy's whore's gonna count th' seconds and-and answer daddy's questions wif how-how many second there were." 

his master smiles wide and ruffles tyler's hair.  "good job, angel.  m'proud of you." 

"thank you, sir." 

blurry then tugs tyler close to the edge of the bathtub and shoves hims face first under the icy water.  

tyler gets lost in here most of the time.  he feels different; a good different.  and he can focus more when there is less sound and less distraction.  the hands in the water are soft.  

he's pulled up.  immediately, he is asked, "what's y'name?" 

it was five seconds.  

he answers, "my name is tyler, sir." 

he goes under again.  it doesn't hurt.  it's calm.  

it's nine seconds this time and he's asked, "who's in charge?" 

"blurry is the one in charge of me, sir." 

under.  his mind sways.  

six seconds this time.  

"who does blurry love?" 

"he loves tyler and josh, sir." 

submerged.  he's still safe under here more than any other place.  it's lovely under here.  he loves watching the colors split and meld behind his eye lids.  

up again.  his chest feels heavy.  

thirteen seconds.  

"what's worryin' tyler?" 

"the bolt is worrying tyler, sir, and it is calling him bad names." 

a short three seconds where tyler can't think much about things.  

"the bolt?" 

"on the wall." 

he's under for so long that his lungs for a split second ache.  

eighteen seconds.

"how's th bolt hurting tyler?" 

"th' bolt calls him mean names, sir.  it says i'm weak and bad and stupid and unloved, sir." 

another eight seconds.  

"how can daddy help?" 

tyler turns his head, forcing himself to look at blurry straight in the eyes.  "he can drown his whore under the water." 

"are you sure you want that, angel?" 

tyler nods, pursing his lips out in a silent beg for a kiss.  "yes, sir." 

he's given the kiss and only the kiss before his head is being held under the cold water and the colors mix and spin and swirl and he fingers twitch and his lungs ache and scream and shriek louder than that bolt would ever.  

his body jolts unintentionally as it wants to fight against blurry, but his mind says no and his mind can speak louder than his body and he tricks himself into thinking it's peaceful it's peaceful it's peaceful it'speacefulit'speacefulit'speaceful

\---

\--

-

he wakes up in soft clothes and a soft bed in soft arms and a soft movie playing in the background.  

blurry hugs tyler close and kisses the top of his head multiple times.  "g'mornin', baby," he whispers.  "how're y'feelin'?" 

"safe," he answers.  "thank you." 

"anythin' f'ya." 

tyler feels inside his body once again, like he's whole, like he could walk around in society and be normal.  he feels human.  he feels loved as cloud hands hold his waist and purple lips press into his temples all day long as the yellow orb in the sky moves from one side to the other.  

"oh, i f'got," mutters blurry.  "i got'cha a surprise f'doin' s'good f'me.  follow me t'th' back." 

his insides flip suddenly out of a white and hot feeling and he's trying his best as he stumbles behind blurry to contain his excitement.  he does pick at the brace around his wrist, to which blurry notices and takes the fidgeting hand in both his hands.  tyler giggles at the contrast between the size of their hands.  

"close y'eyes, i'll guide ya."

tyler nods and nods, his big eyes shutting tightly, and he swallows a small squeal back into his stomach.  

his socked feet pad over the floor to what he assumes is the middle of the room.  he's facing the right side of the room.  that's josh's side.  

"open." 

before tyler, there's his beautiful boy josh with pink curly hair lying on the floor.  between his teeth, there's a wet and and spit covered gag and it falls down his chin and onto his chest.  his arms are laced together above his head and his legs are folded up and tied together, keeping his crotch wide open for touch.  his skin has a sheen of sweat and he's trembling slightly, but blurry dulls that when he reaches down to cup his jaw in his hand.  

"he's home, baby," whispers blurry, pecking josh's cheek.  "s'been way too long." 

tyler nods in agreement and kneels to cuddle close on josh's warm chest, kissing his neck and jaw and hugs his waist.  "he c'n join th' fun, daddy!"

"mhm, he can, angel.  he's your's t' play with tomorrow, okay?" 

his eyes widen and his head whips up.  "really?" 

blurry nods, pulling at josh's collar and smoothing down tyler's hair.  "all your's." 

\---

\--

-


	2. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler nuzzled his dirty and bloody face in josh's neck, smiling and shrieking with laughter, kicking his feet as josh stood up. "papa, i found tha' rabbit i showed you the other day! she w-was so soft, papa, like daddy's ha-hair an' nose."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for gore

tyler always was fascinated with the human body. from the tiniest speck of freckles on backs down to the smallest thread of vein someone could find. he's found it. it wasn't outta a human, but a rabbit he found on the side of the road and decided to wrap up in his shirt. it was in the middle of january. and 2:48am. he remembers coming home and unwrapping that little bunny on the dining room table and using his fingers to open up the wound already on her tummy. she was still soft. he remembers picking at her and petting her fur and touching her nose for hours, until blurry woke up and found tyler nuzzling his face into the mess of what the rabbit ended up being.  he remembers blurry carrying him to the bedroom on his hip to wake josh and josh looking almost horrified to see tyler's face and hands covered in blood, but he still accepted tyler when he made grabby hands towards him.  

"what happened?" josh asked blurry as tyler began to nibble on josh's shirt.  

"he found tha' dead rabbit outside.  give 'im a bath 'nd i'll clean up the table."

tyler nuzzled his dirty and bloody face in josh's neck, smiling and shrieking with laughter, kicking his feet as josh stood up.  "papa, i found tha' rabbit i showed you the other day!  she w-was so soft, papa, like daddy's ha-hair an' nose." 

"was she now, love?" josh answered, placing a kiss on the top of tyler's scalp.  

"sh-she was!  i scooped her up an' held her in my arms f-for a long time an' rocked her like you an' daddy do to me an' i heard her laughin', papa!  she was so happy in my arms, s'why i brought her in!  so we c-could spend more time together." 

josh grinned softly and set tyler down on the seat of the toilet so he could proceed to run the warm water for a bath, picking out tyler's favorite tinkerbell shampoo and his blue towel with a hood from the closet.  he also brought out a dingy and ruined washcloth, dipping it in the bath water before wiping most of the blood off tyler's face, just so he could see his beautiful and handsome boy again.  josh loved tyler in every form he came in, but there were moments where he was scared for tyler's wellbeing; that was one of those times, because seeing animal blood across his darling's face just didn't sit right with him for some reason.  he didn't mind it after a while, because tyler began to giggle and babble again.  he played with his rubber ducks in the bathtub, giving josh a beard of bubbles, and coloring with his bath markers.  

tyler just giggled the entire bath, even as the water turned red.  

today, blurry is letting tyler cut into josh's stomach.  

josh is, of course, screaming and crying, fists white-knuckled and feet kicking at the pain, but he's begging for more.  he's lying in blurry's lap-- just so blurry can watch tyler closely and make sure josh doesn't get too carried away with the pain himself-- but his wrists are tied to his belt loops and his feet are in chains while his collar jingles with every shudder and scream he makes.  his skin is sweaty and bloody, hair frizzy with adrenaline.  blurry always says it's the humidity that does that, but tyler thinks it's emotions because when josh's angry at some cashier at the store for yelling at tyler, his hair bounces more and looks more like tyler's favorite noodles or when josh's sad and tears are falling down his face because he failed a test at college, his hair is droopy and easy for blurry to comb through.  

"c'n... can i take a rib, daddy?" tyler asks, eyes blinking up at blurry.  

he shakes his head, which causes tyler to pout and stick out his bottom lip.  "no takin' stuff, baby, okay?  we gotta keep jj healthy, right?" 

"mhm!  no hospitals for jj." 

blurry ruffles tyler's hair for a moment, making the latter giggle softly.  he dips his already bloody fingers back into josh's tummy, wraps his slim fingers around a slimy rib, and tugs just ever so slightly, envisioning himself to be cracking the bone from the spinal column and snatching it away from josh, so it can just be his forever and ever and even after josh is gone, a part is with tyler.  it would be tucked away with the piece of that bunny, with his book full of pressed moths and butterflies, with the chunks of hair he saw off his head during an episode, a fingernail that fell off blurry's hand when they got a new couch and he dropped it on accident.  he only needs something from josh for his family to be complete in his closet.  

josh gasps at tyler's tugging, eyes wide at bright, staring at the ceiling.  he shudders slightly and drools out of the corner of his mouth, so blurry gently wipes it away with his thumb, making sure his sweaty curls are out of his eyes.  he tries saying something, but neither blurry or tyler can comprehend what is spilling from his mouth.  tyler feels a flash of worry through his stomach, but swallows it down to focus on how perfectly those slim bones fit in between his fingers.

"'addy?" josh whispers, his eyes glossing over.  

"hmm, love?  doin' okay?" he asks, combing pieces of his bangs off his forehead.  

he hums, but it sounds like his voice has been dragged to hell and back.  it still sounds like music to tyler's ears and he lowers his face close the the large incision in josh's stomach, brushing fingers over the muscles surrounding his organs.  tyler wants to surround himself in the warmth of josh's stomach and be with him forever, in his arms and his heart and give him all the love he could for the rest of his life.  

josh blinks slowly, drooling again.  "c-can... s'wa-ater?" 

"course, baby."  he tilts tyler's face up, meeting eyes with him.  "be good f'me, okay?  call me if y'get scared." 

tyler's eyes are wide as blurry leaves, almost shocked he's leaving the two of them alone.  blurry's babies are notorious for getting into trouble together and tyler almost feels as if he should fulfill that quota.  josh is quiet next to him, face peaceful and content, as he lets tyler explore his ribcage and brush over his organs with paint brush fingers.  tyler chews on the inside of his cheek, bouncing on his heels and flapping his left hand next to his ear.  his right hand curls around a rib again and he tugs lightly a few times.  that pulls a soft groan from josh and his feet to kick at the pain.  his eyes roll back in his sockets.  

blurry compares tyler to a raccoon.  he's told tyler that people used to put something shiny in a metal can and when the raccoon reached down the grasp the coin and pull back, there would be blade to catch the limb.  and because the raccoon never would let go, it would be stuck until it starved or the hunters came back for it.  tyler does the same with anything; he'll get his arm wedged between the seats in the car, refusing to let go of the pencil or piece of candy in his fingers and blurry will have to hold him for hours as he cries at the fact he's going to lose whatever is in his hand.  

it happens just now, too.  

when blurry opens the door, tyler jumps back and he makes a split second decision to reel his arm back, but his fingers have a tight grip around josh's rib.  a piece of it cracks off in tyler's fist and he falls back onto his butt.  josh cries out, hissing, and tyler jerks his head up to see blurry's eyes red hot with anger.  

"n-no, daddy!" tyler shrieks.  "i innit mean it, i innit!" 

blurry walks over to tyler, grips him by the collar of his shirt, lips turned downwards in a scowl.  "give it to me.  now." 

"c-can't, daddy, please lemme keep it." 

"what did i tell you before, tyler?" 

tyler squirms under his glare, head racing because he knows he did bad and he didn't listen.  "h-he's my rabbit, daddy.  m-my rabbit an' you're the dog.  dog an' rabbit, dog an' rabbit." 

blurry's eyes soften a little and he pets tyler's hair, but tyler knows he is in trouble so he doesn't lean into the hand or beg for a kiss.  "m'disappointed in you, tyler.  y'know you deserve to be punished, hmm?" 

"i innit m-mean it, daddy, promise." 

"then why'd y'do it, baby?  did y'wanna make daddy upset?" 

tyler rapidly shakes his head.  "n-no, i m-missed my rabbit." 

"do y'deserve t'be punished, tyler?  did you disobey me?" 

he only nods his head, unable to speak past the lump in his throat.  he's upset at himself for disobeying blurry, because he tries so hard to make his daddy proud of him.  

"m'gonna punish you, okay, baby?" 

"okay, daddy.  i-i deserve it." 

he presses a soft kiss to his forehead.  

blurry falls back into the scene and pulls tyler over to his chain and collar, ordering him to strip down to his underwear.  he kicks away his clothes and chains him up, tighter than normal, but tyler doesn't whine.  he takes it because he wants to be a good boy.  

\---

\--

-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come

**Author's Note:**

> meh


End file.
